Update... FINALLY!!

We finally have internet! We are using my phone to tether the internet... yay! That means I get to blog, post pictures to facebook, and continue with all of that wonderful goodness again. I have been missing this lately.

Let me update...

We stayed in a complete stranger's home for a week. Yes, that's right... complete stranger. It was... interesting. These HUGE windows lined the walls by the bed. There were no blinds or curtains. I do not miss this living situation.

We moved into OUR very own home!! The sellers tried to back out, but that was nipped in the bud by both attorneys. They went to the bar afterwards. We are also glad to be done with that whole process.

Being a home owner certainly has its perks, but we have also had to deal with no water, replacing items, and so on and so forth. We love it though. It is SO nice to have a place to call our own.

We have painted. Slowly. I think we average A wall every 2-3 days. Oh well, I'm not supposed to be around it much anyway. Yes, I take frequent breaks, and Andrew only has me do the trimming.

Andrew got to mow OUR lawn. He was very, very happy about this. It's been a dream of his for a while now. He's a little addicted.

We have two fruit producing pear trees. They sure are tasty! We're going to puree these into baby food for our Sophia. That's right, we plan to make our own. We're pretty excited about this!

We replaced a HIDEOUS blue toilet (which you will see in another post) with this nice, new toilet. The flooring is the next on my list... along with the blue walls... and the blue bathtub. These people loved blue. That nasty, '80s blue. YUCK!!!

We have been trying to eat healthy again. After eating out for weeks on end due to our living situation, we've been craving these fresh food. This was the first meal we cooked in our new home! It was incredible.

We have friends!! Two at least. Most people call them woodchucks, I call them friends. We like to eat pears together. They are so funny to watch!

Gato makes himself comfortable wherever he can find a spot. That's a challenge these days. We are moving in... very... slowly. Oh well, we have time.

We get to enjoy a GORGEOUS sunrise from our front porch every morning. This one was taken this morning. Isn't it stunning? I hope we never take this for granted.

Sophia Claire continues to grow, and grow, and grow. She is so precious, and she definitely adds so much to our lives already. She is absolutely amazing, and I love experiencing every new thing she does each day. Pregnancy is such a wonderful experience, and I am so blessed to have had Sophia for 20 weeks now.

I finally made it to a Hobby Lobby. After an absence of three months, it was a much needed trip. Sophia is going to have an awesome room! The plans? A bow board (confession- I've purchased 8 bows... somehow I don't feel as if mine are good enough), two yarn wreaths with fabric flowers, an embellished framed "S", and other fun arrangements.

Take a sneak peek...

I couldn't get a good picture of these, but I used black glass votives with a bit of bling, pink tulle, and those awesome silver trees with crystal flowers, pearls, and these snowball looking things (they're the ones lit up in the picture). I will post a better picture when the room is complete. I must admit, she is going to have a fabulous room... and she deserves nothing less.

Whew!! That's "us" in a nutshell. I will post more about the house and such at a later date! Until then... I hope this finds you well!



Sophia Likes...

... music!!

My friend, Jen, shared a song with me on my facebook page today. It was "Capri" by Colbie Caillat. I held my phone up to my belly since I also have that song in my iTunes player on my phone and played it for Sophia.

It was very early this morning, so I think she was snoozing; however, when the music started to play, she wiggled and wiggled! It was so cute. I tried playing another song for her. The calm song sung by J.J. Heller ("Keep You Safe") only put her back to sleep, but when I played "Capri" again, she wiggled some more! It was absolutely adorable!

This works out well, because I've sung "Keep You Safe" to hear throughout the pregnancy because I want this to be a lullaby for her. I am happy to know it calms our sweet girl down.

I love going through each new stage with Sophia. She does more and more each day. It's really an incredible journey. Now... if only I could get her to move when Andrew's around. For some reason, he calms her right down, and she doesn't move when he's touching my belly.

Listen to Sophia's favorite songs here...

Capri

Keep You Safe

Sophia Claire

I cannot get enough of this picture. Seeing the precious face of our daughter melts my heart. I cannot even begin to explain the great amount of love we feel for her already. It's pretty incredible how MUCH a human heart is able to love. Even though we haven't met Sophia yet, she is such a huge part of our family... and she is loved with a love far greater than I had ever imagined.

When the ultrasound technician (who has done this for 30 years now) told us that we are having a girl, we were both so happy. We truly had no preference either way, and we definitely recognize the tremendous blessing this little life is. It was so cute to see Andrew's face mixed with excitement, love, and a little bit of fear at the thought of having a little girl. I beamed with pride... and then later began to panic.

I have honestly never pictured myself with a little girl. I always said I wanted 4 rough and rowdy boys. I don't fix hair, I don't like whiny drama, and I was always a little scared to have a little girl. In a single instant, I couldn't imagine my life WITHOUT a daughter. Sophia is exactly what Andrew and I wanted. She is who God designed for our family. She is perfect.

We look so forward to January when we get to meet our sweet Sophia Claire. Until then, we're going to continue enjoying each and every step of this pregnancy. It's been an amazing journey so far, and I look so forward to the many more blessings to come.

I say this a lot, and I'll say it again... God is SO good. We are so thankful.

Always on my Mind

August 20, 2011.

This would have been our due date.

December 20, 2010.

This is the day we lost our first baby.

I have not talked with many people about my miscarriage. For a while, I wanted to pretend like it had never happened. The pain was far too great, and I felt like a failure. I almost felt like I was being punished for something.

When Andrew and I found out we were expecting, we were thrilled. We were a little nervous because Andrew was moving in a  few weeks, but we were so excited to expand our family. After his graduation, we told our families. Yes, I realize that five and a half weeks is a little early, but we couldn't keep the good news to ourselves.

At a little over 6 weeks, I woke up, and I knew something was seriously wrong. I turned to Andrew in bed and said, "We've lost the baby." He didn't ask me how I knew, he simply took me in his arms as I cried. This is when we realized the difference between dads-to-be versus moms-to-be. My heart was broken, and I felt like a piece of me would be missing forever. He, too, was devastated, but he had not formed the instant bond that a mother does with her child. We both grieved in our own ways because of this. Mine was an outward and inward grief, and he kept more to himself... and went into protection mode.

We went to the doctor to confirm the lost. "Spontaneous abortion" is what they called it. That made me sick. We were, however, blessed with an amazing doctor even though it was "just" an urgent care facility. She, too, had lost her first child, so she ran every test possible at that time to rule out rH blood factor as well as other anatomical deficits. At the end, it was decided that the miscarriage happened just because our baby was not strong enough to make it. Going through all of this made us feel like we had done everything we could for our child, and in some strange way, that made us feel better.

The coming months were so hard on us. Andrew was in New York, and I was in Missouri. Only one friend at college knew of my miscarriage, and I was far away from my husband and family. I grieved in so many ways. Andrew found it hard to see families at the local mall. In our hearts, we missed our child so much.

In April, I went to a lady's luncheon at my home church. A local mother, Chara, spoke at this event about her son that she lost too soon. Daniel was far too young by the world's standards when he was taken home in a devastating accident. Her outlook on this situation really put my situation into perspective. She said something that stuck in my mind and forever changed my heart. Through tears, she admitted that Daniel was never hers to begin with... he always belonged to God. God had blessed her with his life, but he never belonged to her. Her wisdom, grace, and strength is life changing. She holds so much trust and hope in Christ, and her faith radiates throughout the lives she touches. In letting God speak through her, she changed my outlook completely.

Woah.

This made me realize that our baby had never belonged to us. God has given us the blessing of conception, but ultimately, this small life belonged to Him. We all belong to Him. How selfish I had been to believe otherwise. On that day, I chose to turn all of my pain, anger, and sadness over to the One who holds everything.

On that day, I found peace.

A mere three weeks later, we conceived our baby. Every kick we feel, every time we hear that precious heartbeat, and with each growing week, we are so thankful for the life that is developing inside of me. We have not forgotten the baby we lost, but we know that we would not have this little blessing otherwise. I still don't understand why God's plan is the way it is. We can only speculate...

Maybe that little life wasn't strong enough to make it on the outside world.

Maybe God wanted us to be together for this entire journey.

Maybe this new life is going to do many great and wonderful things.

Who knows.

What I DO know is this was absolutely God's will for our lives. I trust him wholeheartedly with my heart. I also know that we do not take one moment of this pregnancy for granted. Our hearts are filled with love, happiness, and gratitude.

So, today, I remember that sweet life that we lost before we had a chance to know. But, I also stand in awe at the awesome will of our Father.

Sweet Movements!

I have been feeling baby movements for several weeks now. Just last week, the kicks and punches became much more defined. I told Andrew it felt like the baby was using the umbilical cord as a sling shot or swinging rope. The movements are inconsistent, and I wish that I could feel them more often. I've also been anxious to feel those kicks from the outside.

Well, tonight Andrew and I were laying on the bed and watching a movie. I rested my hand on my belly and felt a slight twitch. I thought "no way" and waited. Two more stronger twitches followed. I excitedly told Andrew to put his hand on my belly. The baby then gave a good, strong kick! The look on Andrew's face was priceless! He said, "And that's not your pulse or something?"

The baby stopped moving for a little bit, and then began again with extra strength. I had Andrew feel again, and this time he was able to feel several very defined movements! We were both so excited that we got to share this moment together... and that we were able to feel those outside kicks on the same day! So, at 18 weeks and 2 days, Daddy was able to feel our sweet child.

It was such a precious moment... yet another one that will be etched in my mind forever.

This child is such a blessing to our lives!!!

I've Popped!

So, I've been looking pregnant, but this week we realized that I am now REALLY looking pregnant. I've finally popped, and we absolutely love it!

16 weeks.

17 weeks.

YAY!!!

Favorite moment of the week? This conversation with Andrew while shopping for maternity jeans...

Andrew: "Skinny jeans. That's like the opposite of what you need to be looking for."

Me (with a dumfounded stare): "Are you calling me fat"

Both of us: a whole lot of laughter and repetition of this conversation.

The next day while still searching for maternity jeans... I grabbed these, unknowingly, off the rack.

As silly as they looked, I had to model. We laughed even more at this discovery. No, I did not buy them even though Andrew thought they were cute.

I love how he can make me laugh so easily. He's such a great husband, and he's already an amazing dad. We are so blessed to have him in our lives!